Earthbound series of fluffs and oneshots!
by 2o3g
Summary: These are a series of fluffs and oneshots based off different ideas I've had that are related to Earthbound. Rating may change, but I highly doubt it.


_**Remember this? I haven't done these little things in quite a while. Mainly because I haven't felt the need to. So let me explain. This is series of oneshots based off idle ideas I have running around in my head. These ideas could come from reading other fanfics or just something i've been thinking about, either way, If I write them here, my main stories wont be littered with them, and that will equal less plot holes (YAY!) This first chapter is an idea I got from reading 'The diary of a female punk' by cyberweasel89. You should all read it, it's pretty fuckin' funny. Basically this is what would happen if the female Ness from that story was teaming up with Giegue from my story, of course, he's called Giygas in this for no appearent reason, too late to change it now. Anyway, shout outs to that cyberweasel guy. He or she is pretty cool guy, personally, I think she's a girl, but it's unimportant right now! ON WITH TEH SHOW!**_

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**Chapter 1: The Female Punk and The Womanizing Jackass PART 1. **

"I hate you, you know that?" Ness called out to her partner.

"Oh?" Her male partner raised an eyebrow. "-and why is that? Because I had some really hot sex with yet another girl?" Ness' partner flashed her one of his trademark grins. "Are you jelly?" Her partner, better known as Giygas, mocked her.

"Why would I be jealous of any of the whores that you end up with?" Ness replied angrilly.

"Because they actually have sex appeal?" Giygas said whle turning the page of his news paper.

"I have sex appeal." Ness replied childishly.

"To who? Dykes?" Giygas always knew what to say when it came to hurting people. "I fail to see how anybody could find you attractive."

"I could say the same to you." Ness shot back at Giygas. "I can't see how any girl could fall for your bullshit."

"and yet I actually got laid yesterday, unlike some people." Giygas replied calmly, not taking his eyes off the newspaper he was reading. "I think you need to meet some new people, virgin." He grinned darkly. "Although, I think I could help you out with that problem, if you wanted to." Giygas looked up from his paper for a moment to meet eyes with Ness.

"I thought I only appealed to dykes?"

"You do, luckily for you, you have a nice ass, so I can ignore your looks. I'd have to put a paper bag on your head, of course." Giygas exagerated. While the word 'tomboy' isn't enough to describe Ness, if you looked at her, you'd realise that she's actually quite beautiful.

"Oh? It looks like you are attracted to me slightly."

"Bitch please." He knew how much it pissed her off when he started talking like that. "If I was seriously attracted to you, you'd be pressed up against the wall with bite marks on your neck by now." There was an awkward silence between them. This was Ness' partner in crime, Giygas. Ness was working with Giygas to find Pokey, who was released from the Absoulutely Safe Capsule in the future, and on top of that, his mind was also put in his teenage body from this time. Right now, Giygas and Ness are trying to stop Pokey from going to the future again with over 1000 years of experience. The biggest problem isn't Pokey, however. The real problem for Ness is her partner, Giygas. Not only is Ness forced to work with her sworn enemy, it also doesn't help that Giygas is the kind of person Ness hates the most. It's one thing if a girl acts all snobbish, but it's a million times worse if a boy does it. Giygas was Ness's worst enemy in every way. There's only one reason they're still hanging out.

"That was awfully descriptive." Ness folded her arms.

"Of course it was, I was giving you something to think about when your alone at night."

"That's disgusting!" Ness shouted in well, disgust. "Why would I ever think about you?"

"Because you know you want me." Ness snorted in response. "Or actually, you know you want Steven."

"Leave Steven out of this!" Ness grunted in frustration. Steven, the former owner of that body and the person Giygas merged with. Ness really liked Steven, not romantically, of course, but they became friends quickly. Now, like Giygas, Steven was an asshole to people, but unlike Giygas, he wasn't proud of it. When they first met, Steven mistook her for a member of a really retarded gang and attacked her. After the whole misunderstanding was cleared up, Steven apologized profusely to her. At first, Ness thought he was a pansy, but he was cool. They shared an intrest in sport, they weren't the same sports, of course. Ness felt that she always got along with boys better than girls, with the exception of Paula. Steven was no expection, but this guy... "Wanting you is basically like wanting to die. You're probably a petri dish of all kinds of STD's by now"

"I have PSI, moron, I can use healing to get rid of diseases. I can even cure cancer if I wanted to." Giygas stated triumphantly

"Then why don't you?" Ness grunted louder than she intended. She was starting to lose her patience with Giygas.

"Because it's fun to watch humans break their backs trying to do simple things."

"Wow, you're an asshole. Do you actually have any friends?"

"Yeah, maybe if you actually opened your eyes, you'd notice that your chosen four buddies are quite fond of me. You are correct though, I am an asshole." Ness grunted, not because he was full of shit, but because she knew he was right.

"Of course you are, to be executed by the very government you gave your life for. I'd imagine you to be an asshole." The crumpling of paper was heard right after that.

"You fucking bitch..." He said through gritted teeth. "I can't believe you actually brought that up. To think we were actually having a somewhat pleasant conversation. Why would you do that? Why would you do something so underhanded? I'm pretty sure that's not what daddy tried to teach his little girl."

"Don't." Ness grunted in a warning tone.

"Well, then again. I guess it's hard to raise a child when you're worm food, huh?" With a whack, Ness quickly strode across the room and punched Giygas in the face. "You have some nerve." He replied calmly.

"You had it coming, don't talk about my dad."

"I'll talk about whoever I want. You're not going to stop me, not with you're girly arms anyway."

"Girly arms? The only one with girly arms here is you. I'll fuck you up if you talk about my dad again." The tone in Ness's voice let Giygas know that she was telling the truth.

"That's the best threat you can think of? You're too cute for talking like that. Not that I believe any of the shit you talk about anyway."

"I wasn't lying."

"Oh really? Then lets put that to the test, shall we?" He said he got out of his chair. Without warning. He grabbed Ness and pushed her against the wall violently, pinning her arms to the wall. "See?" He said quietly. "It's just like the time we fought. You're powerless and I can do whatever I want to you."

"Get the fuck off of me." Ness growled.

"Or what? What are you going to do, tough girl? Get on your knees and pray like you did last time?"

"Fuck you." She spat as she headbutted him square in the nose, sending him reeling from the hit. "You wanted to know what I would do? Well, there's my fucking answer!" Ness grunted as she finally lost her patience and left Giygas' house.

"Hmph." A chuckle. "Of course that's your answer." Giygas said as he put his hand on his newly broken nose. "Things would be boring if it wasn't." He looked at his newly blood soaked hand and stared for a moment before simply grinning.


End file.
